Things to do with the kids by the sea over summer: Your Ultimate Guide to Not Hearing 'I'm Bored' at Belvedere Lodge"

Ah, you've done it! You've booked your summer holiday at Belvedere Lodge, and now you're facing that age-old parental challenge: how to convince your beloved offspring that real life can actually be more entertaining than watching someone else play Minecraft on YouTube. (Spoiler alert: it can be, and nobody has to hit the 'like and subscribe' button.)

The Great Screen Intervention

Let's be honest, getting the kids to put down their electronic companions these days requires the negotiation skills of a UN diplomat combined with the patience of a saint. But fear not, fellow adventure seekers! I've compiled a list of activities so engaging that your little digital natives might ….gasp.…. actually forget to ask for their tablets back. (I know, bold claim. Stay with me here.)

Sandcastle Building: Not Just for Amateurs

While Swanage Beach hosts formal sandcastle competitions, why wait for the professionals? Grab your architectural tools (fancy speak for buckets and spades) from our courtyard cupboard and channel your inner Kevin McCloud. Here's where you can finally put those years of watching "Grand Designs" to good use.

Challenge the family to recreate Corfe Castle - bonus points for historically accurate battlements and a working drawbridge (extra credit if someone attempts a miniature portcullis). The moat-digging competition is always a winner, though do keep an eye on enthusiastic excavators who might accidentally create the English Channel Mark II.

Pro tip: Sand and sandwiches are like oil and water, they do not mix. Nobody needs that kind of gritty surprise in their cheese and pickle.

Rock Pool Safari: The Original Touch Pool

When the tide retreats at Peveril Point, it transforms into nature's own version of an aquatic petting zoo, minus the gift shop and overpriced photographs. Arm yourself with nets and buckets (available from our magical courtyard cupboard), and prepare for an expedition that would make Sir David Attenborough reach for his notebook.

These miniature marine worlds are absolutely teeming with life, from tiny fish playing hide and seek (they're rather good at it) to anemones that look like underwater flower arrangements having a bad hair day. Keep your eyes peeled for the elusive shore crab, master of sideways scuttling and champion of looking thoroughly unimpressed by human observers.

Health and Safety Announcement (because we must): Seaweed has apparently attended the same slippery surface training school as banana peels. Tread carefully, as barnacles and shells have formed an alliance to punish any unwary explorers. However, if you manage to stay upright, you're in for a treat.

For the full seaside experience, graduate to crabbing off the stone quay by Gee-Whites. There's something particularly satisfying about dangling a line into the water while watching the sun perform its evening show. And yes, you can absolutely reward yourself with both pizza AND ice cream - we don't judge here. In fact, we heartily encourage this level of commitment to proper seaside dining.

Pevril Point, Swanage

Aquatic Adventures: Embracing the 'Refreshing' Waters

Let's address the elephant in the room - or rather, the temperature of the English Channel. Is it the Mediterranean? No. Is it the Arctic? Also no (mostly). It's what we Brits like to call "refreshing," which is code for "you'll get used to it eventually, probably."

Body boarding and wave jumping are fantastic ways to embrace our "refreshing" waters. There's nothing quite like catching the perfect wave and being propelled shoreward like some sort of graceful marine mammal (results may vary). The kids will love it, and you'll love watching them exhaust themselves naturally instead of from square eyes.

Stand-Up Paddle Boarding: The Art of Standing While Looking Casual

For those seeking a more zen-like water experience, paddle boarding offers the perfect combination of terrifying and tranquil. There's something quite special about standing on water (or repeatedly falling into it) while gazing at the horizon. It's like meditation, but with the added excitement of possible impromptu swimming.

On choppier days, kayaking provides a slightly more stable alternative. Pottering along the coastline in what is essentially a floating plastic banana is surprisingly enjoyable. Plus, it's an excellent opportunity to teach the kids about teamwork, especially when you're going in circles because someone (not naming names) isn't paddling properly.

If you don’t have your own paddle board or kayak don’t worry you can hire them from two or three places along the beachfront. Hiring is a great way to try before you buy. Who knows you may enjoy it so much you’ll want to invest in one of your own.

Kayaking in Swanage

Maritime Adventures: From Mild to Wild

The boat trips from around Swanage Quay are like a maritime pick 'n' mix - there's something for every level of seafaring courage. Fancy a gentle putter to see the Tilly Whim caves? Done. Want to eye up Old Harry's Rocks (no relation to any actual Harry, old or otherwise)? Easy peasy.

For the more adventurous souls, there's mackerel fishing (warning: actual fish may be caught), jaunts to Brownsea Island, and even fish and chip cruises to Poole Harbour. Because nothing says "British summer" quite like eating battered cod while bobbing on the waves.

The piece de resistance is the Isle of Wight day trip from the pier - perfect for those moments when you fancy popping over to another island for lunch. As they say, go big or go home (though in this case, you'll need to go home eventually anyway).

Boat trip to Tilly Whim Caves

The Downs: Where Gravity Becomes Entertainment

Swanage Downs, conveniently located just across from Belvedere, is nature's answer to an entertainment complex. Here's where you can unleash your inner child (while your actual children look on in mild embarrassment). Rolling down hills never gets old - though getting up afterwards might take longer than it used to.

Bring a picnic, a ball, or a kite - or really push the boat out and bring all three. Impromptu cricket matches are always fun, especially when nobody quite remembers the rules and the ball gets lost in the long grass at least seventeen times.

Lighthouse Spotting: The Original GPS

Lighthouses are basically maritime skyscrapers with better views and more interesting stories. Durlston lighthouse stands proudly on its green hill like a magnificent white chess piece. For those feeling more adventurous, Portland Bill lighthouse offers the classic red and white stripe experience - it's like finding a giant candy cane by the sea.

Follow the SWCP to the Lighthouse

Durlston Adventure Park: Where Adults Pretend They're Not Having Fun

The enhanced tree line walk to Durlston Castle now features an adventure park that's technically for children but seems to attract quite a few "big kids" too. You might spot some more mature visitors attempting to master the massive hammock or trying to maintain dignity while balancing on the low beam. Word of advice: let the actual children show you how it's done, they're usually much better at it and far more bouncy when they fall.

The Grand Finale

So there you have it, your comprehensive guide to creating those precious family memories by the sea. No screens required (except maybe for taking photos of Dad getting stuck in the hammock, that's definitely worth documenting).

Remember, these activities aren't just about keeping the kids entertained; they're about creating those magical moments that you'll all look back on and laugh about for years to come. Even that time when someone (again, not naming names) got a bit too confident on the paddle board and ended up doing an impromptu impression of a sea lion.

Got your own tales of seaside adventure or tips for future visitors to Belvedere Lodge? We'd love to hear them! After all, sharing is caring - unless it's about that secret spot where you found the best shells, in which case, we completely understand if you want to keep that under your sun hat.

Now, wasn't that more fun than watching someone unbox toys on YouTube?